Blame It On The (Lack of) Internet & Where I've Been...

So for the very first time ever, I'm doing something I've NEVER ever done before in all my blogging life: publishing an unedited post directly into my Blogger publisher page. Usually I'm used to typing everything (yes, even my comments) in MS Word and proof-reading before doing the entire copy/paste routine. But not for now at least... So forgive any typos...

I've missed Blogville... I didn't go anywhere. I still do my blog-rounds religiously but I don't leave comments anymore. I try to think of something original or witty to type and everything comes out sounding cliche.

The poor internet services (helped by the rumoured SAT-3 shenanigans) haven't helped either. I've blown a fortune sitting down in cafes waiting for Blogger's sign-in page to load. Not helpful too when you have to move around cautiously with work ID and laptop receipts (both fakes in my own case) before a trigger-happy policeman nabs you for Advanced Fee Fraud. Funny enough, the real scammers have no such fear of the Police.

So where have I been all this while? Well, I'm getting my new digital high from Twitter. I put up the widget here before so people could follow me but since my family's still intent on knowing all I do online I had to take it down. I haven't abandoned Blogville, just that the crowd on Twitter seem so focused and yet nobody there takes themselves too seriously at the same time. Turns out the 140-character limit really brings out the best in certain people literary-wise...

Funny enough, I relate with certain bloggers even better there than on Blogger. Plus I've even met a few in real-life too though I'm not mentioning names! It's an open secret anyway...

Enough of the free PR. As for my personal life, not much has changed I'm afraid. Still out of work and as I type this, I'm supposed to be getting my beauty sleep in preparation for an interview back in Lagos but I've just decided I'm not going anyway. I'd gone for 4 (yes, four!) previous interviews in June at the same said company for an Engineering position only for the Manager to flip the whole thing  around. Now, just when I leave Lagos for a few days to give myself a much-deserved rest (?) they want me to come back for a 5th interview as a temporary Trainee! Not only has the position been downgraded from a full post, but I hear that the job is just a one month contact  meaning I'll be back on the dole within one month.

I guess I'm just pissed because I missed another earlier job opportunity just to attend the previous interviews in the first place and I'm still beating myself up for not choosing the other company. I'm still hoping and praying though because it's almost 6 months now since I quit and my siblings' patience must be wearing thin. My mom wants to help but it hurts knowing I should be fending for her now and not the other way round.

Speaking of praying, I haven't been doing much of that either. I still talk to GOD but we're not as tight as we used to. He's still there for me but I'm the one holding back. Even when I want to run mad with frustration, He still does something - anything - to show me His awesome presence whether it's as simple as showing me where I misplaced my wallet or giving me the courage to let go of fear and seek out wonderful people who want to help me without even knowing my real name. He's just too good to me and I hope I can get back to how we used to be. I hardly talk about religious stuff so this out-pouring is still making me a bit uncomfortable. That's just me I guess.

August holds a lot of emotional memories for me and I'm hoping I'll have the courage to blog about them. Interestingly, they mostly revolve around women (or the lack of). My best female friend's getting married in a few weeks and our talks concerning marriage have been very interesting. I'm trying to schedule a post as I write this so...

Everybody's hooking up nowadays and it's rather scary in a way.  But what's even more annoying is when people you've known all your life start showing attitude just because they've paid a dowry, hired a church and worn a ring. I'm not beefing marriage but oh well, why am I even saying all this anyway?

And in case you peeps haven't figured it out by now, I'm rambling like mad, the sole reason I never do unplanned posts. I wasn't even going to put up a post up till like 20 minutes ago when I checked out a new blog I'd just discovered and saw someone saying he'd missed me since I'd gone MIA. So this one's for you Kay9, that's if you haven't given up on my blogs.

Time to hit the Publish Post button under this edit text field and broadcast my jargon to the world. I'm too lazy to even look for an image to accompany this post so I'm using Kay9's profile picture hoping he'll see it.

Gotta go now... MS Word rocks! No endorsements intended but I'm never trying this ish again...

My First Not-So-First Post

This was originally meant to be the very first post before I touched it up a bit…

Some time early last year I decided to start my first personal blog. The reason was simple: I had been reading Funmi Iyanda’s and several other blogs for a long time and every time I left a comment, my name would be grayed out while others had blue hyperlinks that led to their respective profiles/blogs. I was envious…

And so I created my very first blog. It was actually nothing to write home about. I dimly recall my very first post on it was autobiographical in nature and of patriotic bent as I stoutly defended my birth and birth-country. Then I waited for my very first comment.

None came.

Second post. Nothing…

In a moment of desperation I did something I am very ashamed to admit to. I left myself an anonymous comment thinking that would trigger the avalanche. There wasn’t even a trickle. I did the blog rounds leaving comments and hoping my fellow bloggers would repay the favour. They all returned the disfavour.

There and then I decided I wasn’t going to be disappointed a third time. Rather than succumb to the temptations of writing a wildly controversial piece or leaving another “anonymous” comment I did what I would have previously deemed unthinkable: I deleted the entire blog.

That decision was one I still regret till now. For one, I can’t reclaim that blog address which (to me) was rather cool. Second, I can never be that exact same person that wrote those lines then neither can I ever get them back since I had no backup at that time and just wrote them freely off the top of my head. Then there was no editing and re-editing, no error-checking before posting. My writing was spontaneous. Till now, I do miss that person sometimes.

And so once again I’m back to the personal milestone of my notoriously second blog post the difference this time being that I am more comfortable with the fact that I may not receive any comments. Second posts always evoke a certain feeling within me, a sign to say “I have put my other foot in the fast rushing stream as I wait to be swept away by the waves of literary uncertainty”.

So here I am starting all over again and hoping I get it right this time.

This is my kingdom. This is my blog. This is my world.

You are welcome to examine the inner workings of a great mind.

No deceptions or alter egos on this one.

This is me.

To be honest, I don’t really know where I’m going but I do think I have a faint idea…