Saturday, March 14, 2009

And The (Projected) Naija Bloggers' Award Winners Are...

It’s official!!! The NBA votes, I mean… Was lazily checking out Facebook last week when I saw my homegal Ex-schoolnerd raving about hers.

If you didn’t believe it before, The Naija Bloggers’ Awards has already gone full speed ahead and the final nominees for Category A have been out for a while now so all those of you who did not nominate me, you can rest assured that not only will I torture you in your dreams, I will also find out your Google password and delete your blog. If you doubt it, try me. Chikena!

Anyways, between Vera’s convincing reasons why she should win all her nominations for Category A (my dear, you even qualify for all of Category B) and Miz Okpeke’s intriguing campaign video (don’t you just love techno-chicks!) I’ve decided to hook up my crystal ball’s USB port and upload my latest predictions for your voting pleasure!

(As an aside, do you notice everything comes with a USB port nowadays? Soon even babies will be born with one hooked to their dimpled behinds…)

Anyway, since the Category A’s are partly decided, I’m going to have fun with the Category B’s instead and though some of them were so hard sha, I just had to choose more than one winner.
And so after seeing visions and dreaming dreams I present to you the bloggers who’ll (hopefully) be the eventual winners of this edition of the Naija Bloggers’ Awards. Sadly I have no real say in all these matters so if you no win eventually, no vex!

Just blame it on my cloudy crystal ball…


Category A
Bloggers Choice Award - Vera (‘nuff said.)
Most Intellectual Blogger - Emm… Doug or Danny Bagucci?
Best Student Blogger - Emm… Ex-schoolnerd?
Best Political Blog - Nigerian Curiosity (she sabi wetin dey happen for Naija pass me wey dey live here sef)
Best Religious Blog - Rita’s EROlyrics (God + Brain + Beauty)
Most Inspiring Blogger - StandTall (Funmi Iyanda, Vera Ezimora, etc, etc)
Best Entertainment Blog - Niyi Tabiti’s Gistmaster (was rooting for NotJustOK though)
Best Fashion Blog - Honestly, dunno… Wanted BoobSistas though (una know wetin carry me go there, abi?)
Best use of Media - Fresh & Fab (still rooted for NotJustOK and Afronuts Kush Galleries)
Best Use of Theme - Nigerian Curiosity (preferred SSD’s Easier family theme)
Best Use of Visuals- Afrobabe (if y’all know what I mean…)
Best Literary Blog - 14th & Serenity (Ok, OK, Carlang instead)
Most Creative Blogger - Ex-schoolnerd (I’m still waiting for you and Teddy’s porn movie oh!) very close tie with FBA
Dedicated Blogger Award - Vera (Gistmaster suppose win sha, abi?)
Best Personal Blog - Hmm… Afrobabe? (would have chosen Charizard & Buttercup’s though because Thanks to their blog, I even know how many boyfriends BC has had and that they haven’t done it yet)
Best Everyday Read - Verastically Vera
Most Likable Blogger - Vera (sotey the like don over-mature to love sef. Why do you think I’m marrying her?)

Category B
I laugh in Japanese (Funniest Blogger) - Tough one… OK, na draw: Vera and XsN
Celebutant (Most likely to become a celebrity off blogging) - Lil’ Woman, Woomie O! (and Me)
Drama King/Queen - (Over)dramatic blogger - Rayo (she dey too happy, she dey too vex!)
Hot and Sexy! (Blogger you think is hot in real life) - Spicytee (yum-yum!), Lil’ Woman, Rayo, XsN (My other wives, sorry to disappoint all of una)
Fire in my pants (Blogger you'd hook up with based solely on the content of their blog) - Badderchic ( **singing** All night long…)
Grandma/Grandpa Blogger (Seasoned blogging veteran who still updates frequently) - Funmi Iyanda
Paparazzi Blogger (Always on blogville) - Niyi Tabiti
FIRST!! (Always first on every blog) - LG (1st), Temite (2nd)
Meme Addict of Blogville (Always doing Memes) - Emm… Doug, StandTall and Buttercup?
Most Scandalous/Controversial Blogger - G.G. Naija (no vote from me for you jare! Na me you wan take get cheap publicity?)
Blogger I would most like to meet - Ahhh!!! Vera, Afrobabe, LG, Temite, Oyin, Funmi Iyanda, Doug, Danny Bagucci, Buttercup, Bumight, Laspapi, Afronuts, Jinta… (abeg, una just too many)
Most Stalked Blog (People keep going back for updates, comments) - Fineboy Agbero, Carlang
From the Outside looking in (Non-Nigerian members of Blogville a. k. a Honorary Naija) - Oyin (a. k. a Kin’shar), James Tubman, Queen of My Castle, ShonaVixen
Blogville Celebrity/ Popular Jingo (Most popular blogger) - Vera Ezimora (1st), LG (2nd)
Blogville Magician/Disappearing act Award (Blogger disappears for long periods without any explanation) - Carlang, Esquire
Most Nigeriacentric Blog/Blogger- Blog(ger) reps Naija to the fullest - Emm… Solomon Sydelle?
(n)Oprah Award (Most likely to become a talk show host) - This one too simple… StandTall
Quiet Storm (Most likely to quietly take over the world) - , Lil’ Woman, StandTall (quietly? Hmm…) Ex-schoolnerd
Say What?! (Most confusing Blogger) - Doug (?)
Epistle Blogger (Blogger loves writing long post) - FINALLY!!! ME OF COURSE!!!
Most Creative Moniker (blog title or blog name) - Ok, there’s Me, Porter deHarqourt, Fineboy Agbero, A Black James Bond, Danny Bagucci (think Mafia or designer shoes), Atutupuyoyo, Rayo (all4words), Woomie O! (sosowoomie), ConfessionsOfALondonGirl (na complete sentence be that one), bArOqUe (unorthdoxdecorum), Original Mgbeke, LG (Lady Guide), FFF, Miss Definitely Maybe, H2O, -- Ok, e don do!
Blogville Tatafo (Best Gossip blog) - LG, Niyi Tabiti
So fresh and So clean [Best newbie blog(ger) 6 months and under] - Lil’ Woman (?)
Blogville Butterfly (Friendliest Blogger) - First, there’s Rayo (checks up on me, calls/texts me and everything), Woomie (sometimes) and then Vera (second reason we’re getting married)

PS: Typing this list no be beans men! By the time I finished, voting would have ended already!

PSS: Abeg, I don’t intend breeding enmity oh! If I no mention you for here, please forgive me. Believe me, when I start tormenting people with nightmares, leaving you out might eventually be for your own good sef…

Oya now! The medicine man has spoken… Now, let the juju, sorry voting, begin!

Take care and have a swell week (or what’s left of it)!!!


  1. *hands on hip* ehn so i nor win anything for category A 'e be like say dat ur 'crystal UB port' don dirty o' Abeg clean n repost the names of the winners Again :-)


  2. loL! You really tried with these suggestions, I mean predictions. lol! And I can't believe that your didn't predict more wins for me. But I understand, your love for the incredible vera is clouding your crystal bowl. hahahaha

    How now?

  3. @ LG: E no dirty oh! Na small tomato paste rub am the time wey I fry stew for Valentine rice wey I prepare for you. I don clean am. Repost? E get as that one be oh...

    @ SSD: Thanks! No vex as I no give you more nominations. You got it right... Vera's influence is very cloud-ish...

  4. So i was nominated for one? Zero is still a score abi? I'll take it as it is but then, the nomination categories are not complete. They should add YOUNGEST BLOGGER to the list. That i can win!

  5. LOl! Wetin Vera do??? Naughty Eyes, don't mind SSD joo! Na over jealousy dey worry her. Nonsense. Well, @ least I won two awards from Category A. Category B sef don start their vote. U don vote??? Make sure you're clouded by me when you go 2 vote ooo! :-)


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